Archive for August 2006

For Iya

August 25, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

Someone misses you.

champ082406.wmv

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After the hailstorm…

August 24, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

 Well, the sky has quit throwing stones down at us.  The tornado sirens are quiet.  It’s really wet outside, and here’s a bit of a glimpse of what’s left.  I have pictures of what remained of some of the hailstones that fell in our yard.  There is a picture of a hole that once had a hailstone in it, before the thing melted.  There are also pictures of the damage done to Dad’s car when he was out delivering a missed paper.  And the last 2 pictures are of the stones that Mom picked up and put in her freezer for reasons yet unknown. 

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Hailstorm Video

August 24, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

Hailstorm video …click on that link to get it.

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First Hailstorm I’ve Seen

August 24, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

I’ve been here close to 4 years now and I’d never seen a hailstorm till today.  I’d heard a couple during the night before.  Today I woke up late in the morning to constant pounding on the roof and walls.  I looked out and lo and behold, we are having a hailstorm…hail coming down the size of tennis balls.  I grabbed my camera and took a video of it.  I’m hoping I can upload it properly here on the blog.  If not I’ll upload it to my site and post the link to it.

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How good it feels

August 19, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

…to know that I have control over something.

I like having the choice to take away from those who don’t deserve.  I like having the choice of whether to share or not.  I doubt that the people concerned even know that I have such control.  In a way that’s good.  It makes less trouble for me.  On the other hand, there is a side of me that wants them to know it’s me that turns it on and off, that gives and takes away.  I guess later on they will realize that I do have that control.  They will figure out that when I think they’re abusing my generosity (considering that I like none of them) I take away from them.  I don’t care either way.  I might even be overestimating them.  Maybe they won’t figure it out.  Who knows, who cares?

I don’t see the sense in sharing with them when they’re not here.  I don’t see the sense in wasting it on no one.  I will share when they’re here and only if they’re using in moderation.  Otherwise I’ll keep it to myself.  They can complain all they want but it would be better for them to resign themselves to the fact that it’s not up to them.  The sooner they do that the easier it will be for them.  But I doubt they will, because they weren’t raised that way.  It’s such a pity.  But it’s not my problem.

I have made sure that they can’t turn the tables on me on this.  they wouldn’t know how anyway.  They’re not that smart.  They’re not that patient.  They’re not that interested.  I don’t care.  In a way that is an advantage.

Well, that’s all for now.  Those who can’t figure this out don’t know squat about what I’m talking about.  That is of no concern to me.  Those who know what I am talking about will get it.  Yes, I am gloating.  And I’m not one bit sorry about it.

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Who’s in control and why…

August 16, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

Well, we’d been having internet connection problems for some unknown reason.  First the cable connection became unstable…sometimes the browser works, sometimes only the email works, sometimes nothing works.  We had a technician come out and “fix” it although my connection remained sluggish.  And in the time spent waiting for this cable internet technician, for some unknown reason, my laptop quit picking up the DSL connection.  So for the most part I was without a connection, and considering that there are 2 sources in the house, that was rather frustrating.

 So…DH told me that his youngest was asking all sorts of questions…like why I need a laptop and a desktop.  He most probably asked too why I should be on DSL at all with the laptop.  Whatever he asked, DH told him he shouldn’t be complaining because I am paying for the DSL connection.  And well, when I got really, really, REALLY frustrated, that came in handy.

 Oh yeah, I pay for the DSL connection…and yet I’m not connected.  Let’s see, when I had that modem wired to my PC, there was all the hoopla about the cable running from the kitchen to my computer, and possibly causing people to trip over it.  So…I thought, I’m not sewing right now, and I’ve pretty much freed up some space downstairs…and I’m not sewing at the moment…and the phone outlet is right there where my stuff is.

 So, the desktop went downstairs, the laptop went upstairs, the sewing table became the computer table, and I took back the DSL modem from DH’s daughter’s room.  No reason why the person paying for DSL shouldn’t enjoy what’s being paid for…she probably hates me for that but…it’s just the last item on a long list, I’m sure.

I’m not totally mean, I’m spending over $200 to get a technician over here, hook us up with a better modem, hook up the 2 brats’ computers wirelessly, and my laptop too.  I’m going to find out if there is a way to regulate everyone’s bandwidth/traffic, so I don’t get kicked out because someone’s using Limewire and hogging all the bandwidth.  If nothing else, I would like to know if I can unplug them when they’re giving me grief.

 The youngest brat apparently is having problems with sound.  They appear to be missing some codecs.  Also he’s having connection problems.  Well, considering how unpleasant he’s been lately and the fact that he’s sharing that PC with another person who just can’t do anything to make anyone else happy, I’m not too thrilled to take the time to fix that PC.  I have decided that whether I fix something or not will depend on how happy the owner’s made me.  If the owner hasn’t been easy to live with, I wouldn’t feel obliged to do them any favors.  Fair enough, I think.

 So…considering that I’m spending all this money so the brats can get connected, I think they should at least stay out of my way if they can’t be pleasant.  I will see how much control I can have over this DSL thing.  They’re not getting a free ride…they want to be happy, I need to be happy too.

If DH balks, which he most probably will, when someone complains of me taking them off the network for using up too much bandwidth, heck, he can have this account.  I’ll get myself a phone, and I’ll get myself a separate DSL network.  He can resume being responsible for paying their DSL/phone bill…good luck keeping that up, knowing him.  Either way, I will not take any more crap.

There are some trades to be made, I can already think of one…we’ll see how it goes, and we’ll see just how badly they want their PC’s connected to the internet.  I’m not hard to please.  They’re just really dense.  Not my genes, not my fault.

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About my old posts…

August 16, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

Yes, I know, the font changes, and then some are in italics and some are bold.  But you know what, I don’t care.  I’m too tired to go through all that, and it’s too much work.  Let’s just let it go and look forward to newer, more uniform-looking posts.  Yes, yippee…I’m tired…and I don’t do perky.

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Q&A 2

August 16, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

FOR AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID, ONE-WEEK VACATION ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO KILL A BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY BY PULLING OFF ITS WINGS? WHAT ABOUT STEPPING ON A COCKROACH? (05/12/06)

Unless that butterfly is endangered, I probably won’t think twice about it. As for stepping on a cockroach, it helps that I’ve done it countless times before. A typical American female might find it repulsive and very disgusting. I have had roaches fly at me, land on me, etc and I have no qualms about stepping on them at all. And just to disgust anyone who’s prone to be disgusted, I like to step on them until I hear something snap…and sometimes I make sure the head is detached from the rest of it. There, I said it. If I kill 52 cockroaches, can I go on an all-expense-paid one-year vacation?

FOLLOW-UP: WHY DOES A BEAUTIFUL CREATURE MERIT MORE COMPASSION THAN AN UGLY ONE? DOES IT DAMAGE US PSYCHOLOGICALLY WHEN WE DESTROY SOMETHING WE FIND BEAUTIFUL? HOW MEANINGFUL IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PULLING THE WINGS OFF AN INSECT AND STEPPING ON IT? IS THE DECISION OF HOW TO KILL SOMETHING A MINOR DECISION WHEN BALANCED AGAINST THE DECISION OF WHETHER OR NOT TO KILL IT AT ALL? (05/12/06)

Well, from my answer above, the beautiful creature didn’t really merit more compassion than the ugly one. So therefore the first question does not apply. I don’t think it damages us psychologically to destroy something beautiful. There is just this widespread idea that beautiful things take more effort to make. But we have to keep in mind that that’s a human way of thinking, and sometimes humans do take longer to make more beautiful things. Let us keep in mind too that nowhere is it said that whoever created everything around us took longer to make the prettier things, or that he/she/it even made all these things individually. Who knows, all bugs, both ugly and pretty, might have evolved from a single creature. Then some of them went on to become prettier and more fragile and then some uglier and stronger. I don’t think it’s meaningful at all, the difference between pulling the wings off an insect and stepping on it. I just would rather not pull the wings off a roach if I have to touch it with my bare hands. If I have tools, sure, for a one-week vacation, I would. The decision of how to kill something is quite minor, yes, unless we’re talking about humans, and then you probably will want to make sure you do it in such a way that nothing points to you after all is done.

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO MURDER AN INNOCENT PERSON IF IT WOULD END HUNGER IN THE WORLD? (05/12/06)

My first impulse is to say, for the good of many sometimes one must be sacrificed. But after a few more moments of thinking about it, I probably won’t be willing to do that. Warning to most people: the following statements might sound callous and offensive. Let us consider for a moment the causes of world hunger. First thing that comes to mind is overpopulation. Let us at least be honest and admit that the whole reason there is food shortage in some parts of the world is that there are too many people and not enough food to go around. While I’m not saying that these people are all at fault for their areas being short on food, there is a certain level of inability to use what resources there are in the vicinity to either produce food or earn money to buy food. If overpopulation is the problem, morals aside, wouldn’t the solution be for there to be fewer people in the said places so there are a lot fewer people to share what little there is? What I believe to be the second cause of world hunger is the fact that with all the advances in science and medicine, most of the diseases that used to keep the numbers down now have cures or vaccines and people have found ways to live longer. I do not propose to get rid of all the vaccines and cures but perhaps distribute them in such a way that it does not encourage overpopulation in some areas. That is, if the place is already crowded, it might not be the best place to spread the cure. That’ll give people 2 options. First, let the sick die and feed the healthier ones (like most animals do) and then maybe procreate less too…and second, leave the area for “greener pastures” which just might result in a better distribution of population per square mile, which might mean more food to go around for everyone. Humans have advanced so much that sometimes I think it’s to our disadvantage. Nature shows us that the rest of the animal world do not nurture their sick and weak like we do. The sick and weak fall prey to other animals or are left behind to fend for themselves. then the healthier ones get the food and live on. Survival of the fittest. Humans are “smarter” and so therefore we have decided that everyone has the right to live. But we never really stop and think about what price we pay for keeping everyone alive as much as possible. All the money being spent on keeping some people alive with expensive drugs and procedures…that much less spent on basic needs for others. In my mind there should be fewer people all around. That would end world hunger.

IF GOD APPEARED TO ME IN A SERIES OF VIVID AND MOVING DREAMS AND TOLD YOU TO LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND, TRAVEL ALONE TO THE RED SEA AND BECOME A FISHERMAN, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? WHAT IF YOU WERE TOLD TO SACRIFICE YOUR CHILD? (05/12/06)

Three words: SORRY, WRONG NUMBER.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED MEMORY? (05/12/06)

My most treasured memory is that of a dream. I dreamt I was at a party and then my grandpa came, wearing his usual thin white t-shirt and PJ bottoms. He didn’t say anything, but we waltzed. I honestly don’t remember hugging him, ever, although I probably did when I was younger. And it felt good dancing with him because it was a chance to be close to him. Also I didn’t get to celebrate my 18th birthday like most do, and I didn’t have the “18 roses” waltz where traditionally I would have gotten to waltz with my grandpa, my dad, my brother, etc. I also didn’t have the “normal” wedding with the “normal” wedding reception which would have been yet another chance to dance with him. So that dream basically made up for all those lost opportunities. What made this dream even more special was, I dreamt this a few hours before my mom called me up to tell me that my grandpa has passed away. So in my mind, that was his way of saying goodbye to me. I had an inkling after I left that I will not see him alive again. And it felt bad knowing that he waited up to see me and Scott one more time before we left, and it didn’t happen. The dream made me feel better and provided something of a closure.

HAVE YOU EVER HATED ANYONE? IF SO, WHY AND FOR HOW LONG? (05/12/06)

Yes, of course. I hated this kid I grew up with, a boy about 3 years younger than me who had nothing better to do with his time than annoy the girls while we play. We tried to beat each other up anytime we were around each other and this went on for at least 2 years. We did talk later on, after he’d come out of the closet and grown up a bit, but I still didn’t like him. There was this girl the first time I went to college, a wannabe who honestly thought she was all that…she had an attitude I couldn’t stand. It got so bad that one time my friends felt the need to take me out for a walk before I beat her up. Now, there is the older stepson who is stupidity personified. At 17 he believed that a meadow was a big lake. He put a crockpot on a hot stove to boil water either late last year or early this year, and of course broke the thing and still hasn’t replaced it. He’d gone off the road or hit a deer in his grandpa’s car at least 6 times in the past 3 years. Of course he never shouldered any of the expenses incurred by these moments of stupid driving (which he claimed happened when he was driving at a reasonable speed given the road conditions…yeah right!). He would not let anyone in his room or touch his stuff but he thinks nothing of taking other people’s things (especially his dad’s) without asking for permission or sleeping in his brother’s room while the kid is elsewhere. He would claim to share his groceries with everyone, eat most of the eggs his dad bought, and complain when his dad cooks up some of the ones he bought for himself…so much for sharing. He thinks that he can afford to live alone in an apartment, pay the bills and still eat the way he does on minimum wage. Uh huh. As for how long I’ve hated him…since I knew him, still do now, and will continue to do so until such time that he grows a brain.

WOULD YOU RATHER BE GIVEN $10,000 FOR YOUR OWN USE OR $100,000 TO GIVE ANONYMOUSLY TO STRANGERS? WHAT IF YOU COULD KEEP $1,000,000 OR GIVE AWAY $20,000,000? (06/02/2006)

In either case I’d rather have the money I can keep for myself. Call me selfish, but if I had the money to give anonymously to others, it will have me wondering. Why can’t someone else do it, and why can’t I be one of the later recipients instead? I can think of a million things to do with the money. There’s places inside and outside the house that needs repair or remodeling. I could, with $1,000,000, convince my hubby that we can afford to have a kid of our own, and that might take my mind off of the imperfections of his kids (LOL!). I could use a real craft room. There’s just so many things I can use the money for. I can get my whole family here with the cool million…set them up and all. I deserve the money as much as anyone else. If I’m to give it away to others, I would want to keep some to myself. So between giving it away and keeping it to myself, I’d rather keep it. You can’t blame me for being honest, now can you?

IF YOU KNEW THERE WOULD BE A NUCLEAR WAR IN ONE WEEK, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? (06/02/2006)

Short answer: I’ll probably max out my credit cards trying to get to the most obscure place in the world, or as close to it as I can. The fewer people there are in a place, the less likely to be bombed, I think, unless it’s a testing ground for weapons. Hopefully I won’t pick the testing ground.

WOULD YOU ACCEPT TWENTY YEARS OF EXTRAORDINARY HAPPINESS AND FULFILLMENT IF IT MEANT YOU WOULD DIE AT THE END OF THE PERIOD? (06/02/2006)

Yes, I would…with the knowledge of my death after 20 years of great happiness, I think I would have enough time to prepare for it. If it’s a full 20 years of extraordinary happiness, then I shouldn’t feel too sad when the end is near. I would most likely be happy to have had the experience. I don’t think anyone can truly say that they’d had 20 years worth of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment in their lives. No one is constantly happy. And it would be really interesting to be experiencing the impossible.

WHAT IS THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT OF YOUR LIFE? IS THERE ANYTHING YOU HOPE TO DO THAT IS EVEN BETTER? (06/02/2006)

Nothing comes to mind. I guess I should say…the fact that I haven’t murdered anyone yet. I would have thought that as angry as I’ve gotten in the past, that I would have already stabbed someone to death. Miraculously that has not happened yet. I am not saying it never will…everyone has their limits…I know I’ve come close to it quite a few times. There are a lot of things that I hope to do in the future that might be considered better than not having killed someone. Maybe…get away with having done it? Not really. I think I hope to sometime get over my lack of focus and use all my art supplies before buying more. Considering how I am now, that would be a great accomplishment.

WHAT IS YOUR MOST ENJOYABLE DREAM? YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE? (06/02/2006)

I don’t really have a dream I consider most enjoyable. Sadly, the better dreams are easily forgotten upon waking up. I would remember when I woke up that they were nice dreams but have only the vaguest memories of them for a short time. As for my worst nightmare, it would be the one where I shifted between 2 characters. It was set in medieval times or something like it. We were in a tower. There were 2 females, good friends, or maybe twins. One of them was engaged to a good man, probably a prince. The scene started in a room with a long dining table and a big stained glass window. In the next room, for some reason, there was a wooden coffin, surrounded with a lot of white roses. Then suddenly one was dead and in the coffin, and I was that girl. The other bent to kiss her and we exchanged places so she was trapped in the coffin. Her fiancé came and thought I was her. At this point I shifted to being the girl in the coffin and I shook the coffin as hard as I could to get the man’s attention. He found out, and then I shifted again to the bad female. He was furious and then he started to charge at me. I ran towards the window and ran right into it. It broke and I started falling. The falling wasn’t really scary. I was just watching the ground come closer. Then there was nothing. It was black and very quiet. I guess at that time, the bad female died. Shaking the coffin was actually scarier than the fall.

WOULD YOU GIVE UP HALF OF WHAT YOU NOW OWN FOR A PILL THAT WOULD PERMANENTLY CHANGE YOU SO THAT ONE HOUR OF SLEEP EACH DAY WOULD FULLY REFRESH YOU? FOLLOW-UP: DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME? IF NOT, WHAT WOULD GIVE YOU THAT FEELING? HOW MUCH HAS YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT TIME CHANGED AS YOU AGED? (06/02/2006)

Heck, yeah! I always did say that if we didn’t need sleep to recharge, I would gladly skip it. I obviously do not feel that I have enough time. There are just so many things to learn and do, and not a long enough life. What would give me the feelling of having enough time? Realistically, maybe if I didn’t have to work to earn money, then I’d have time to do all the things I want to do. Well, that’s as close to realistic as I can get. But that pill that will allow me to recharge with one hour of sleep would be wonderful. My attitude about time…it just seems that the older I get the faster it goes and I never seem to have accomplished enough by the end of the year. I hear it gets worse in time. That must be the worst thing about getting older.

IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD DEVOTE YOURSELF TO ANY SINGLE OCCUPATION–MUSIC, WRITING, ACTING, BUSINESS, POLITICS, MEDICINE, ETC.–AND BE AMONG THE BEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL IN THE WORLD AT IT, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? IF YOU KNEW YOU ONLY HAD A 10% CHANCE OF BEING SO SUCCESSFUL, WOULD YOU STILL PUT IN THE EFFORT? (06/02/2006)

My first impulse is to say “painting” but there’s hardly any painter that gets famous and whose paintings get sold for a lot of money while still alive. I would say “computer sciences” since that seems to be the most lucrative area at this time. I would love to come up with something that everyone will use…be the next Bill Gates without all the hatred from disgruntled Windows users. And no, I wouldn’t put in the effort if there’s less than half the chance I’d be so successful. I’m there already, why exert effort to get nowhere?

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Q&A 1

August 16, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

WELCOME TO THE BRAND NEW Q&A SECTION OF MY BLOG (new as of 10/6/05, that is)

I decided that since there is a lack of ranting on my part, mainly because I’m letting a lot of things pass without bothering me so much (in other words, I don’t give a rat’s ass), I thought I could at least answer some questions that might just give you a wee bit of idea of how my mind works. And I’m not talking about the questions that we’ve all been writing answers to in those kiddie autograph books since we first learned how to write. I mean real questions you probably haven’t asked yourself. These questions are going to come from a bunch of books which contain nothing but questions. It’s an interesting way to spend time and an interesting way to get to know someone. Feel free to send me answers to these questions as well, if you’d like. Email me at I decided that since there is a lack of ranting on my part, mainly because I’m letting a lot of things pass without bothering me so much (in other words, I don’t give a rat’s ass), I thought I could at least answer some questions that might just give you a wee bit of idea of how my mind works. And I’m not talking about the questions that we’ve all been writing answers to in those kiddie autograph books since we first learned how to write. I mean real questions you probably haven’t asked yourself. These questions are going to come from a bunch of books which contain nothing but questions. It’s an interesting way to spend time and an interesting way to get to know someone. Feel free to send me answers to these questions as well, if you’d like. Email me at answers@annavkelly.com and I promise your emails will remain private. There will probably be a bunch of these pages as I add stuff to it. Like most people I do change my mind often so I’m going to date my answers just so we can keep track of what frame of mind I was in at the time. I might or might not add stuff later on as my mind changes…we’ll see. So…let’s get started.

FOR A PERSON YOU LOVED DEEPLY, WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO MOVE TO A DISTANT COUNTRY KNOWING THERE WOULD BE LITTLE CHANCE OF SEEING YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY AGAIN?

I have moved to a distant country for a person I loved deeply…that’s why I’m in the US instead of the Philippines. However, there is more than just a little chance of seeing my friends and family again. In fact my mom has visited twice already, my dad once and my favorite sister once. And I had gone back there too once. Let’s say I’m not in the situation I’m in right now, I probably would move to a distant country for a loved one IF that person will always make me feel that I’m special, that my sacrifice will not be in vain, that he realizes what a big leap that was for me. If that loved one will not make me feel alone in any way, if he’d take the extra effort to make sure I don’t get homesick and that I find ways to contact the people I might not see again, then yes, I’d do it. 10/6/05

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS OR EVIL SPIRITS? WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO SPEND A NIGHT ALONE IN A REMOTE HOUSE THAT IS SUPPOSEDLY HAUNTED?

I do not recall seeing ghosts…although I’ve been told that I have. I do believe that dead people and other supernatural beings are around us and we’re just mostly not open enough to be aware of them. I wouldn’t want to spend a night alone in a supposedly haunted house, for 2 reasons. Firstly, I don’t want to tempt these beings. If people say they’re there, I’ll take their word for it and leave it at that. I don’t need a wild display of ghostly presence. Second, I do have a very active imagination. Even if that house turns out not to be haunted at all, with the way my mind is, I’m prone to think it is haunted anyway. I’d probably come up with a million otherwise insignificant things that I would insist were signs of haunting. Every little creak, every mirror, every tree outside the window…there are just a lot of things that can be construed as spooky by someone who is spooked for no good reason. 10/6/05

IF YOU WERE TO DIE THIS EVENING WITH NO OPPORTUNITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH ANYONE, WHAT WOULD YOU REGRET NOT HAVING TOLD SOMEONE? WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD THEM YET?

Hmmm, tough question. For some reason I’m leaning towards telling the people I dislike or hate what exactly I think is wrong with them. I would love to have a few minutes before I die to do that but if those few minutes are just not available to me, then yes, I would regret not having done that. Why haven’t I told them yet? Well, for starters I don’t want to get into a fight. Second, it’s pretty useless. Third, there isn’t much of an effect on the person if the one telling them is alive and well; however, if you’re dying they just stand there feeling they are obliged to listen to you before you die and I think that would be the perfect time to tell them what lousy people they are and why. For the most part, I’m referring to my husband’s kids here. Yes, I think they’re all lousy. 10/6/05

IF YOU COULD SPEND ONE YEAR IN PERFECT HAPPINESS BUT AFTERWARD WOULD REMEMBER NOTHING OF THE EXPERIENCE WOULD YOU DO SO? IF NOT, WHY NOT?

Well, that seems to me a total waste of time. Sure, one year you’re perfectly happy but if you later can’t figure out what the heck you did that one year and if you’re going to spend so much time wishing you could remember any part of it, then it’s bound to be pretty frustrating. All I would ever think is that I wasted a whole year. Never mind that I was perfectly happy; what is the sense in being perfectly happy when you can’t look back and recall those times? 10/6/05

Follow-up question: WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT: ACTUAL EXPERIENCES, OR THE MEMORIES THAT REMAIN WHEN THE EXPERIENCES ARE OVER?

To me, they are equally important, although the memories are more lasting. The experiences themselves shape us into what we are and teach us what we know. The memories of such experiences provide us with something to look back at. If it’s a pleasant memory then we look back to feel happy about something we’d done. If it’s not a very pleasant one, then we look back to remember what lesson we learned from it or what we’d had to overcome to get where we are now. 10/6/05

IF A NEW MEDICINE WERE DEVELOPED THAT WOULD CURE ARTHRITIS BUT CAUSE A FATAL REACTION IN 1 PERCENT OF THOSE WHO TOOK IT, WOULD YOU WANT IT TO BE RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC?

I think that for the sake of the many people who are suffering from arthritis, I would want it to be released to the public but with a disclaimer. I would want for there to be a warning, very visible, very hard to ignore, about the risk there is in taking it. And then it will depend on the people with arthritis whether they want to risk their life or not. I would think too that a contract of sorts would be in order, so they won’t go after whoever came up with the medicine. And in the meantime, I think there should be research going on to come up with a safer alternative with the same healing effect. And I’m also thinking that there will be something learned from those who’ll unfortunately die from taking it…maybe their autopsies will reveal something that might further the development of a better version of the medicine. 10/6/05

YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR WONDERFUL ONE-YEAR OLD CHILD IS, BECAUSE OF A MIXUP AT THE HOSPITAL, NOT YOURS. WOULD YOU WANT TO EXCHANGE THE CHILD TO TRY TO CORRECT THE MISTAKE?

I honestly don’t know. What I do know is I would want to know the medical history of the parents of the child that I have so I am ready for whatever might come up. I probably will see what the other set of parents want. Also, there will be some consideration as to whether they are giving my child a good life or not. I wouldn’t want to break the bond that they’ve established with the child, and if they don’t want an exchange I probably won’t insist on it; I would probably have bonded just as well with their child by this time. It would be nice though to be keeping in touch just so we can all keep tabs on our respective children. Then maybe we can sue the hospital together, for putting us in such a sticky situation. 10/6/05

DO YOU THINK THAT THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER OR A WORSE PLACE 100 YEARS FROM NOW?

I think that would largely depend on what happens between now and 100 years hence. If nothing like Armageddon happens, or if no big meteor strikes the earth and causes life to start over from square one, and people go on like they do now, I think things would be much worse. The world now is a lot worse than when I was growing up, and I don’t mean just on the global level. Even on the family level it’s worse. Kids respect and fear nothing and they run the household. Parents are totally powerless and therefore unable to raise the kids properly. And every generation is worse at raising kids than the preceding one in this respect so I am pretty sure that the world in 100 years would be hell, that is if no one has managed to nuke the whole place yet and killed everything except the roaches. 10/6/05

WOULD YOU RATHER BE A MEMBER OF A WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SPORTS TEAM OR BE THE CHAMPION OF AN INDIVIDUAL SPORT? WHICH SPORT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

While I do get along just fine with the majority of people I come in contact with, I still would rather not be part of a team if it can be helped. I would choose to be the champion of an individual sport. Being in a team denotes (at least to me) more responsibility than being in individual sports. Being in a team means having people depend on you not to screw up and drag them down with you. Being in a team will most likely mean resenting the person who’s considered the weakest link in the team. I would hate to be that weakest link and I would also hate to be the one who’s doing really well and thinking we can do without the weakest link. I would much rather be solely responsible for my own victories and failures. I would much rather not have people accusing me of not doing what’s best for the team. I think being in sports is pressure enough, knowing that there are fans and spectators (and probably sponsors) always in the background, loving me when I win and hating me when I lose. Why add more people feeling the same way, only more intensely? Which sport would I choose…archery perhaps. I am not much of a fan of any sport, in fact I think I’m too geeky to follow sports. I think scrabble and boggle should be sports so I can pick those instead. Just kidding…only not really. 10/6/05

WOULD YOU ACCEPT $1,000,000 TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND NEVER SET FOOT IN IT AGAIN?

Hmmm, while that is a tempting offer, I have to wonder just how far that $1,000,000 will take me if I try to live the life I think I should have elsewhere. Also there is the matter of family and friends…am I going alone or do I get to bring a few people I really like? If my husband is still around at the time and I can’t bring him along, then I probably am not going…even if it means waking up in the middle of the night wondering what I could have done with that amount of money. If my husband is gone and there’s nothing holding me here, I probably will go. It’s more than just the money in my case. 10/6/05

Follow-up question: IF YOU WERE EXPELLED FROM THE COUNTRY AND HAD ONLY LIMITED FINANCIAL RESOURCES, WHERE WOULD YOU TRY TO REBUILD YOUR LIFE?

Well, that would be either the Philippines or some other place of a similar climate and financial status. I would go where the dollar will get me a lot more things that it would here. It would have to be a third world country with no major political or social issue raging at the moment. But just to keep myself surrounded with familiar things, I would probably just go back to the Philippines. 10/6/05

WHICH SEX DO YOU THINK HAS IT EASIER IN OUR CULTURE? HAVE YOU EVER WISHED YOU WERE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?

I think men have it easier. In fact, studies show that men earn more money than women who have the same position and obligations at work. I think society is still pretty much dominated by males. There might be more and more avenues open to females and there might be more “equal treatment” than before but it still is largely a man’s world. If men and women were truly equal, how is it that if a man sleeps around he’s macho or hot but if a woman does it, she’s a slut? And no, I never wished to be a man. I never wished to be one to worry about how my “thing down there” measures up compared to others, or whether or not I’m good at using it. 10/6/05

YOU ARE GIVEN THE POWER TO KILL PEOPLE SIMPLY BY THINKING OF THEIR DEATHS AND TWICE REPEATING THE WORD “GOODBYE.” PEOPLE WOULD DIE A NATURAL DEATH AND NO ONE WOULD SUSPECT YOU. ARE THERE ANY SITUATIONS I WHICH YOU WOULD USE THIS POWER?

Heck, yes. If I had such power I would probably be using it quite regularly…not saying I’d use it often but there would be quite a few mysterious deaths around me, that’s for sure. While the whole idea of being in charge of whether someone lives or dies is quite overwhelming, I probably would take a short time getting used to it…and then spend the rest of the time actually enjoying it. It would be quite hard to try not to use it or else people might at least think that it’s such a coincidence that everyone I don’t like has died already. What situations would provoke me to use this power? Any situation where a loved one is being disrespected, or where I’ve gotten fed up of someone’s stupidity and/or ignorance, or when I’m having my monthly “visitor.” No one can predict my mood when it’s that time of month so I guess people will just have to be nice to me then. 10/6/05

Follow-up question: IF YOU CAN IMAGINE YOURSELF KILLING SOMEONE INDIRECTLY, COULD YOU STILL SEE DOING SO IF YOU HAD TO LOOK INTO THE PERSON’S EYES AND STAB THE PERSON TO DEATH? HAVE YOU EVER GENUINELY WANTED TO KILL SOMEONE, OR WISHED SOMEONE DEAD?

I probably can do it given enough provocation. There had been a few times in the past when I’d wished someone dead…and it’s always the same person. Of course I wouldn’t act on that, except maybe if that person ever becomes a threat to the safety or life of my loved one. I always told myself, if he ever crosses the line, I’m meeting him there. 10/6/05

IF YOU WERE ABLE TO LIVE TO THE AGE OF 90 AND RETAIN EITHER THE BODY OR THE MIND OF A 30-YEAR OLD FOR THE LAST 60 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE, WHICH WOULD YOU WANT?

No question about it, I’d go with the mind. I think I would rather remember what I did with the frail, raisin-like body than have it look young and not remember what I did with it the night before, LOL. Also, just to be a smartass, the question made no mention of the face…a 90-year old face won’t quite look good with a 30-year old body, although I’m sure after seeing the body, a lot of men wouldn’t care. If I retain the mind of a 30-year old then maybe I can keep on working, be part of a thinktank somewhere, still be useful at least in a managerial level. Plus, that would help the other old people around me, I can be the “go to” person if they have questions about things they might have forgotten…that is if they remember who the “go to” person is. 10/6/05

WHAT WOULD CONSTITUTE A “PERFECT” EVENING FOR YOU?

Winter solstice…minus the cold temperature, just the length of the night. No stepkids around…no kids anywhere for that matter…hubby and I alone in a luxury hotel room. A jacuzzi, all the movies we want, a loaded fridge, the beach right outside the door, a nice comfy king-size bed…all for free! 10/6/05

WOULD YOU RATHER BE EXTREMELY SUCCESSFUL PROFESSIONALLY AND HAVE A TOLERABLE YET UNEXCITING PRIVATE LIFE, OR HAVE AN EXTREMELY HAPPY PRIVATE LIFE AND ONLY A TOLERABLE AND UNINSPIRING PROFESSIONAL LIFE?

I think this would depend on what stage of life I’m in. I think until I’m middle-aged I would prefer an extremely successful professional life. And then when I’ve built up enough fortune, I would retire and then concentrate on having an extremely happy private life and an uninspiring professional life (if any). As much as I would like to choose an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life early on, I don’t think that would help me later on in life. There would be really happy memories to look back to but probably much uncertainty at a point in my life when I shouldn’t be worrying about where I would be in a few months. 10/9/05

Follow-up question: SINCE SO MANY PLACE GREAT EMPHASIS ON A HAPPY PRIVATE LIFE, WHY DO PEOPLE OFTEN WIND UP PUTTING MORE ENERGY INTO THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIVES? IF YOU FEEL YOUR PRIVATE LIFE IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU, DO YOUR PRIORITIES SUPPORT THIS? ARE YOU SIMPLY UNWILLING TO ADMIT THAT WORK IS MORE IMPORTANT? DO YOU USE WORK AS A SUBSTITUTE? DO YOU HOPE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS WILL SOMEHOW MAGICALLY LEAD TO PERSONAL HAPPINESS?

I think that as much as people want to think that their private lives are more important than their professional lives, they are also very much aware that the state of their private lives depend largely on their professional lives, i.e. everything costs. If they didn’t put in so much energy into their professional lives, their private lives would be quite a failure and not as happy because then they’d have to deal with financial problems at home. Yes, I do hope that professional success will somehow lead to personal happiness, not magically though. I think that if there is enough professional success to bring in more money than what’s needed at present, then more can be put away for later, when I want to dispose of my professional life entirely and concentrate on making myself happy. 10/9/05

WHOM DO YOU ADMIRE MOST? IN WHAT WAY DOES THAT PERSON INSPIRE YOU?

I think the person I admire the most is my maternal grandpa. It’s a pity he’s gone. It took a lot to get him angry, he never was very expressive but he let us know in other ways that he cared and that he wished for us to be everything we can be. He paid for all the summer workshops I attended, during which time I discovered that I am (or was) a pretty good painter and an okay musician. When I was a kid he and my grandma always took my sister and me to the bookstore between our birthdays and Christmas to pick out what we want. He instilled the love of books in us. He bought books he thought we’d find interesting. There never was a day that he wasn’t reading something. He loved a good laugh. He loved learning. He retained so much in his mind, he would have made a really great trivia show contestant. We always called him up when we had homework we needed answers to. He was just an all-around knowledgeable guy. He also liked telling stories of things he went through; he remembered quite a bit of his childhood too. I kept going back to that bookstore he took me to years back. I have a whole lot of books now. I don’t feel sorry that I spent quite a bit of money buying all of them. I think books will always come in handy. Most of them I buy to learn something new. I have a lot of craft materials too, and I’ve dabbled in a lot of crafts. I still try every once in a while to play the guitar or the piano. I like to think that my love for the arts, books and learning all came from him. 10/9/05

IF AT BIRTH YOU COULD SELECT THE PROFESSION YOUR CHILD WOULD EVENTUALLY PURSUE, WOULD YOU DO SO?

I probably would. I realize there is no way to tell exactly what the child is going to be good at when it grows up, but a good look at the parents’ skills. If both parents aren’t good in math, then they should be discouraged from deciding that their child should be a statistician or a physicist. I probably would choose for my child to be into the arts as that seems to run in the family. This could all look so bad, with people accusing parents left and right of making their kids live the lives they wish they had. Also I don’t think there are parents who want their kids to be trash collectors or factory workers. Maybe I’ll choose to make my kid a trash collector. With all the other parents not wanting their kids to be in such a profession, that’s got to pay a good salary in the future. Hmmm… 10/9/05

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO BECOME EXTREMELY UGLY PHYSICALLY IF IT MEANT YOU WOULD LIVE FOR 1,000 YEARS AT ANY PHYSICAL AGE YOU CHOSE?

Now this seems to be a no-brainer to me. Why would I want to be extremely ugly and live a thousand years? Why would I want to subject myself to humiliation and ridicule for that long? The population of the world keeps growing and there are fewer and fewer areas uninhabited or untouched by man. In a thousand years I would run out of places where there’s no one to make fun of me. So no, I would never think of living a thousand years being extremely ugly. 10/9/05

Follow-up question: HOW MUCH ARE YOU AFFECTED BY A PERSON’S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE? HOW WOULD IT CHANGE YOUR LIFE IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO MAKE YOU MUCH LESS ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU ARE NOW? DO YOU FIND ANYTHING DISTURBING ABOUT IMMORTALITY? WHAT AGE SEEMS IDEAL TO YOU?

I personally am not that much affected by a person’s physical appearance, that is if we’re talking about other people. I am pretty happy with how I am now and if something happened to make me much less attractive than I am now, I probably would go through a long period of depression. I’d most likely stay indoors until such time that I’m positive that people won’t be bothered by my presence, make fun of me or ask me what on earth happened to me. I don’t really find immortality disturbing. I think it’s a very romantic and exciting concept (at least for the first century or so)…and then you get used to everyone dying around you and everything changing too. What age would be ideal to me? Let’s see…I probably would choose 30. I think it’s the perfect age where you’re expected to still be goofy but also quite responsible. It’s not too young, not too old. It just seems to be the age where everything is within reach. It goes uphill to 30…then it starts going downhill. At least that’s what I think. So I think it would be ideal to freeze my age at 30. 10/9/05

IF YOU COULD WAKE UP TOMORROW HAVING GAINED ANY ONE ABILITY OR QUALITY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Well, this would depend on whether we’re talking about realistic abilities or not. If I were to wake up tomorrow having gained a realistic ability or quality, I would choose the ability to BS people really well that I can sell almost anything. As it is, I can’t see myself being in sales because I am too transparent and I’m just no good at BS’ing people convincingly enough to sell them anything. Now, if we’re talking about theoretical and unrealistic ability, I would love to have the ability to speed read a book and retain everything I learn. It would be so cool to be a genius about anything and everything. Kind of like John Travolta’s role in Phenomenon, except without the brain tumor. 10/10/05

YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO MEET SOMEONE WITH WHOM YOU CAN HAVE THE MOST SATISFYING LOVE IMAGINABLE–THE STUFF OF DREAMS. SADLY, YOU KNOW THAT IN SIX MONTHS THE PERSON WILL DIE. KNOWING THE PAIN THAT WOULD FOLLOW, WOULD YOU STILL WANT TO MEET THE PERSON AND FALL IN LOVE? WHAT IF YOU KNEW YOUR LOVER WOULD NOT DIE, BUT INSTEAD WOULD BETRAY YOU?

I would still want to meet the person and fall in love even if I know that that person is going to die in 6 months. I think the fact that I know the person is dying will make it even more intense. It’s sad in a way but I guess in a situation like that, you just take it one day at a time and make the most of the days. If the person were going to betray me and I knew about it, no, I wouldn’t subject myself to that. At least if the person were dying, there would be no one to blame for it. Betrayal, knowing that that person is out there somewhere, being happy with someone else, at the expense of my happiness…that would be quite intolerable. 10/10/05

Follow-up question: IN LOVE, IS INTENSITY OR PERMANENCE MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU? HOW MUCH DO YOU EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU? WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL BETRAYED BY YOUR MATE–INDIFFERENCE? DISHONESTY? INFIDELITY?

I personally think that at the start, intensity is quite important but as the relationship develops, permanence is definitely what’s needed. I expect a lot from someone who loves me. I tend to be more critical of the people I like or love. I tend to think that they should be more caring and considerate than other people around me. And so therefore it hurts me a lot more when they disappoint me. I would feel betrayed if my mate were dishonest with or unfaithful to me. I don’t trust a whole lot of people so any breach of trust will make me feel betrayed. 10/10/05

IF YOU KNEW OF A WAY TO USE YOUR ESTATE, FOLLOWING YOUR DEATH, TO GREATLY BENEFIT HUMANITY, WOULD YOU DO IT AND LEAVE ONLY A MINIMAL AMOUNT TO YOUR FAMILY?

I don’t think so…unless I’m unhappy with my family. Otherwise, I’d be willing to go half and half, no more, no less. It might be a great loss to humanity as a whole but selfish as this sounds, I think someone else will come along who will be willing to do that. 10/10/05

DO YOU PREFER BEING AROUND MEN OR WOMEN? DO YOUR FRIENDS TEND TO BE MEN OR WOMEN?

I don’t prefer being around any specific gender. I like having an equal amount of men and women around me; it makes for a good mix of people. My friends don’t tend to be one gender or the other. I have friends of both sexes, and I’ve been really close to some guys before and I have been close to girls too. I don’t pick friends according to gender. I basically am friends with the more open-minded people. I have a lot of criteria for friendship but gender is definitely not one of them. 10/10/05

IF YOU COULD USE A VOODOO DOLL TO HURT ANYONE YOU CHOSE, WOULD YOU?

Most definitely, yes…but only if that person can’t get back to me the same way. I already have one person in mind. I’m thinking even if he could get back at me the same way, he probably would take ages to figure out what is going on with him anyway. So I probably would still do it to him even with the risk of being hurt the same way. 10/10/05

WHILE ON A TRIP TO ANOTHER CITY, YOUR SPOUSE (OR LOVER) MEETS AND SPENDS A NIGHT WITH AN EXCITING STRANGER. GIVEN THAT THEY WILL NEVER MEET AGAIN, AND THAT YOU WILL NOT OTHERWISE LEARN OF THE INCIDENT, WOULD YOU WANT YOUR PARTNER TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT? IF ROLES WERE REVERSED, WOULD YOU REVEAL WHAT YOU HAD DONE?

Yes, I think I would want my partner to tell me about it. Of course the relationship will probably start going down the drain from then on but the main thing would be that he was honest about it and that he didn’t dare keep it from me. If it were me that did that…it would be so tempting not to tell my partner about it. And it’s just so easy not to say anything since he won’t find out otherwise but it would probably bother me down the line how I wasn’t straightforward about it. So I probably would tell him, after bracing myself for possible consequences. I think anyone who does anything like that has to come clean and face the consequences of their actions. 10/10/05

ARE THERE PEOPLE YOU ENVY ENOUGH TO WANT TO TRADE LIVES WITH THEM? WHO ARE THEY?

No. In my mind, there might be people I envy for certain aspects of their lives. But I also keep in mind that they would have problems of their own too. There are no problem-free lives. It’s just a case of having a different set of problems. I might envy someone for being filthy rich. But I wouldn’t want to trade lives with people like that. Sure, here I am wishing I could afford to buy this and that…or thinking about how I will be able to make payments on bills. But there they are, wondering if any of their cronies are cheating them out of a little bit of their fortune here and there, or whether this friend is a real friend or just there because they have money, or whether their investments will bring in more money the next day or crash. It’s just a matter of knowing that for every privilege there is, certain problems tend to rise with it. 10/10/05

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2006 Posts

August 16, 2006 by annadulcekelly.

 05/06/06
CATCHING UP (Blair, Rosie, etc.)

My bad, I haven’t been updating this site for the longest time.  Lack of time and interest.  There’s knitting, there’s the new laptop, and a host of other things.

On February 15th, we lost Blair. She had mellowed down quite a bit and we were getting along quite well.  She has been very attentive to what I want her to do and I thought we were bonding really well.  I bought her this Christmas paw stocking, embroidered with her name…of course with treats inside.  I was just lavishing so much on her because we WERE so much closer.  She never gave any problem as far as getting out to do her business.  She asked to be let out, did it, asked or sometimes demanded to be let in.   I thought we were going to have a great time training her to be just perfect, because she seemed to be on the way to it. She stayed on the bed a lot but we didn’t think much of it because we thought she just loved the bed and she was spoiled. She sometimes wet beds and we didn’t think much about it.  We thought it was just a phase. Then she had this wound on her nose which we thought happened after she stuck her wet nose on icy metal outside. The wound stayed fresh because of where it was, and then it looked like it was getting worse. She was taken to the vet to have it checked out, and she was given antibiotics for it. There was a significant difference between normal concentration of uric acid and her test results. Later on it appeared that that was the problem. She was given steroids.  That didn’t help much.  The sore spread to her mouth and she refused to eat or drink.  She lost 10 pounds in the span of a month, apparently.  Her breath started smelling like pee way before we started worrying.  And with the sores it smelled even worse. The vet said he didn’t think there was anything we could do, unless we want to spend money to bring her to the U of M and have her checked out. It was too much to spend on something that the vet thought was hopeless. So she had to be put to sleep…which we thought was better for her than to have her suffer through it and probably starve to death.

It was very uncharacteristic of me to be so affected by it but, as I said earlier, we’d been bonding.  She had the Christmas stocking which I expected to use every year to put her treats in.  I got her a doggie fleece blanket too.  Also I have sort of accepted that I most probably will not have kids of my own, so I focused on Blair instead.  So the thought of her being put to sleep was especially painful to me.  I told Scott that I wasn’t going to be there when he brings her to the vet. I can’t stand the thought of being there when that happens.  I would have become really hysterical and that wouldn’t have been any help to anyone. There was a lot of crying on and off the day before, on the day itself and then days after that. There might be a few times now that I still think about her and how she was, and that still gets me teary-eyed. It might also have something to do with Rosie being her exact opposite, therefore emphasizing what I don’t see anymore with Blair not being around.

Who’s Rosie?

Way back, I got Scott to agree that I will pick the next pet.  I didn’t expect for that to come so quickly.  Scott said on the day that Blair was put down that maybe we should just see who’s at the shelter.  We don’t have to pick a dog then, he just wanted me to look at my choices. Then later he said we’ll do it the next day. At the time it was upsetting but it did work for us. The next day we went to the shelter and I laid out my criteria.  I wanted a female, adult, not much shedding, mellow, potty-trained and about 30 pounds. There wasn’t anything there that met all the criteria. There was a 6-month old puppy but it was too young and too hyperactive for me. We had passed a yellow lab on the way to the said puppy but she was too big so we didn’t give her much thought. But the volunteer said the magic word…mellow.  And so we had to take a second look. She was the wrong size but that was about it.

He said that a buddy of his found her wandering around his ice house on one of the lakes.  She had no collar, later found to not have a chip either, and she had some icicles hanging down her nose. So the friend brought the dog to the volunteer who kept her over the weekend at his house.  There he found that she’s good around kids and cats and that she’s toilet-trained.  Apparently they called her Betty initially at the shelter but she didn’t answer to that.  She seemed to respond to Rosie though.  She was let out of the kennel and she immediately pranced towards the door, like saying “come on, let’s go” to us. She came back, sat there while getting petted, didn’t bark once, and then proceeded to give me a big wet kiss. I think that’s when she got me hooked, and I decided that I’ve found our dog.

I said earlier that it worked out for us that we didn’t go the day Blair was put to sleep. The day we got there was the day that Rosie was moved from quarantine/observation to adoption.  If we had been there the day before, she wouldn’t have been up for adoption yet.  She needed to be spayed and checked out so the volunteers at the shelter set her up for the next morning at our vet’s clinic. And we were to pick her up there.  So we waited another day. We brought her home later that day and she was her usual quiet self, but also she was quite drowsy from the painkillers.  I didn’t hear her bark until maybe a week later. She doesn’t bark at people or jump on them.  She won’t chase the cat, which puzzled the cat immensely that he found it scary.  the first few days all he did was watch her very closely, arch her back and hiss. Everyone loved her.  It seemed ridiculous to think back to when Scott said that if I choose a dog that the kids don’t like, he’ll get one for them too.  She hit it off just fine with the kids.

At first she was throwing up every now and then. I was thinking it might have something to do with erratic feeding. With 5 people in the house, I guess some people assumed that other people were going to feed Rosie and so sometimes she went without food the whole day. And likewise there might have been days when she was overfed.  I thought that might have something to do with her throwing up. So I told Scott that I was going to take over feeding her so that there will be a fixed feeding schedule.  Of course there’s no assurance that other people are not feeding her leftovers, which Scott had told them not to do.  But at least with the dog food, it was a regular thing. She hasn’t thrown up since. We do have some accidents in the house because she’s so quiet and she doesn’t really let us know when she needs to go out.  She does get walked once or twice a day and it takes 20 minutes or so for her to do her business.  It could also be that she’s letting us know and we just don’t understand that that’s her way of telling us.

She has gotten so attached to our bed that anytime she’s in the house, she’s most likely on our bed. Unlike Blair who was happy enough laying by our feet, Rosie likes cuddling. So a lot of times she is in the middle of the bed, getting some loving from both sides. She loves attention and she loves her “parents” a lot. I don’t know if it’s because we’re the first people she saw here or what, but she’s closer to us than to the kids.  With Blair, she was equally close to everyone.  Rosie seems to prefer our company over the kids’. I think that is a good thing though. Just a couple of days ago, I caught her going downstairs with a hotdog on a bun in her mouth.  The kids don’t discipline her like they need to.  They don’t watch her to make sure she doesn’t get into anything she’s not supposed to have.  She used to not care even if I ate in bed; she didn’t want to smell my food or have some of it.  I assume that someone has introduced the taste of human food to her here, or else she wouldn’t have gone for that hotdog.  She wasn’t hungry, I knew that because she’d just eaten about an hour before that.

I don’t think anyone here is disciplining her as much as she needs to be.  I let her lay on me in bed, which is not a good thing, because it’s an act of possession.  Scott lets her off the leash sometimes, and she just bolts. I dare not do that and I don’t see me taking her off the leash for another 3 years or so, or until I know I can trust her not to get distracted and run after something.  Right now birds and squirrels make her want to chase them.  I suspect that’s how she got lost in the first place. She got out of the house or was let out, and she spotted a squirrel then chased it.  Then she got lost.  I try to train her not to focus on birds and squirrels when she sees them.  She would sit on command but she’s not very good at staying where she is. On average I’d say she would stay put for 5 seconds, no more.  There’s still quite a bit of training to do and she has to be rid of the habit of yanking when she sees the creatures she wants to chase.  I haven’t fallen from her yanking but she’d pulled me a couple of steps a couple of times.  I can almost tell when she’s about to yank, and I yank at her leash just a bit to snap her out of it.

Overall she’s a big sweetie (15 pounds heavier than Blair at her healthiest) and everyone loves her. I just wish people would think more of her welfare than their own motives.  The oldest brat, for some reason, insists on leaving the door to the garage and the back door of the garage open at the same time when he’s grilling out back. It’s wrong on two counts.  First off, the cat has wandered into the garage twice before, and wasn’t found for a couple of days each time.  Second, the dog was the wandering type and, unlike the cat, she’s not afraid to go outside. She actually got lost for a while. One day when I was doing payroll over at the in-laws’ house, I called home to tell Scott to feed Rosie because I wasn’t going to be home in time for her afternoon meal.  He found out she was missing and the two doors mentioned above were both open.  Well, duh!  She wandered out and someone found her a couple of miles away.  Good thing she had our number on her tag and he called to let us know he found her. He had absolutely no trouble getting her to come to him so he could put a leash on her. Another time I caught her just as she got in the garage and was on her way out to the back. She knew to go to the back door, and I concluded that’s how she got out the first time.  Still the oldest brat wouldn’t do anything differently.  The stupid stubbornness just boggles the mind.

And speaking of the oldest brat, he’s supposed to graduate this year.  Scott has said that he has to move out on graduation day.  He refuses to cooperate and live by the rules, he is a bad influence on his brother, and he just refuses in general to use his brain. He can’t be grateful that at 19 he still lives at home rent-free.  He can’t appreciate that his grandpa is the only reason that he’s still working with us is to make his grandpa happy.  He takes up half the space in the fridge with food he claims to share with everyone, and yet if someone finishes off his milk, he’s upset.  He’d use eggs that Scott bought but if Scott used any of his, he rants.  He would not take money from Scott so he can buy groceries on his way home…groceries that he uses up very quickly himself.  It’s not like he’s being asked to pay for them.  All he had to do was pick them up.  Apparently that’s too much to do.

Another thing that’s apparently hard to do is leaving his brother alone. If he’s not bullying him, he’s teaching him a whole bunch of crap, of course with every other word being a foul word, or he’s distracting the kid from schoolwork that needs finishing just by being there.  He can’t see how he’s not being a good example or influence.  He refuses to open his mind to the idea that he might need to let up or change how he deals with the kid.  No kid needs to get used to the language he uses.  It’s not something anyone wants to hear from a 12-year old, so why constantly expose him to it? But that’s what he gets from listening to that rap crap that teaches nothing good. That’s what he wants to emulate, never mind that he didn’t grow up in a ghetto or had a hard life.  In fact, even if he thinks he’s tough, there is that undeniable fact that he grew up in a small town that’s mostly white, and he’s a suburban kid through and through.  If New York scared him, I don’t know where he got the idea that he’s tough. I personally think he’s afraid of more things than I am. I personally think I am a lot more streetsmart than he ever would be.

Of course there is the usual disrespect that’s always been there.  There’s no reason for him to follow rules, according to him.  Apparently he can’t wait to get out of here and be on his own.  I sure hope so. No one would like that better than me. The sooner he’s out the better.  No one is made happy by his presence in this house. If there’s anyone out there that thinks he’s a delight to be around, I suggest they live with him for a couple of years, then tell me if they still think the same way.  If they do, more power to them. If not, they can just shut up. I wouldn’t go so far as to say no one is going to miss him even if he moved out of state but I think it will be a great relief to Scott and me if he stayed out of our house. He doesn’t do anyone any good, he wouldn’t exert any effort to make other people happy or even just make their lives easier. As far as I’m concerned, he needs to learn just how tough it is dealing with him.  I think he should be on his own. I am curious to find out how he intends to pay the rent, pay the bills and and eat the way he does now. I want to see how he can afford to eat 2 pounds of meat a day, 2 dozen eggs a week, drink a gallon of milk a day…all on minimum wage, after taxes and bill payment.

Maybe then he’ll have an appreciation of his dad buying things for everyone…or maybe not.  He probably will be too damn stubborn to see the lesson behind everything. That would be just like him. I pity whoever thinks he’s good enough to live with. I pity the girl who decides he’s the one for her…either she isn’t smart or she has very low self-esteem. She’s going to be someone easy to manipulate and prone to take abuse without so much as a groan. He’s never going to have a long-term and stable relationship for as long as he’s the same as he is now. He thinks he’s all that. All he needs to change that view is to sit back and think about what talents he has and what he actually has to offer.

It’s really going to be curious how this all works out.  I don’t think that he’ll make it on his own too long. He will run out of money because of how much he spends on food.  He will start eating at his grandparents’ and he just might move in with them after the funds have run dry. I think he might drop by here too to eat.  Once a moocher, always a moocher. Why stop now?  Especially with grandparents and a father who can’t turn him down no matter how badly he treats them. I’m just glad he’s not my kid…although I doubt that the bad behavior would go so far if he were mine.

Well, that’s all the ranting that’s left in me for now.  We’ll see how it goes this year.  I don’t promise to add a lot more unless one of the brats acts up enough to rile me…I almost expect that to happen.

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