December 24, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

December 22, Tuesday, Manila time…
    Bro got to go with me again.  He went with me to our old house, so I can go see if there are things I want to take with me.  I did not realize that I left a whole bunch of Mad magazines behind; I can’t really imagine why I did that.  He got a USN ring that belonged to my ex-BF.  And then of course he got fed again.  The day before was at Mang Inasal, this day it was at Chow King.  Then I went to see if I’d be lucky again and find more tops at P100…no such luck.  I did get some peanuts…not cooked the same way anywhere else.

I really should not use public transport much…it adversely affects my throat.  I can’t risk coughing on the way out; I don’t want to be quarantined or anything.

December 23, Wednesday, Manila time…
     This was not a very eventful day.  We did go to a different grocery store to buy some items not offered at the one that the family regularly goes to.  I did find my brand and type of astringent, FINALLY…so I bought a whole lot of bottles, and if I’m lucky, they’ll last me a couple of years.

My mom had been trying to reach a catering service for our Christmas dinner but they weren’t answering their phones.  So we dropped by…they were not taking orders anymore, and of course my mom complained about not being able to reach them for the last few days.

We were supposed to try to go to the birthday dinner of a relative but she did not exactly live nearby.  This being the last working day of the week, most people who were going to the province for the holidays were on the road then.  At some point we decided we were not going to make it, so we ate at Barrio Fiesta.  It was not bad but it wasn’t as good as I remember.  I think things are just really going down the drain, quality-wise.

December 24, Thursday, Manila time…
     We got home around 2am, and everyone was tired.  I did set my alarm for 7am so I can call DH and get ready early.  Well, let’s just say that my efforts to get ready early got wasted.  There was a lot of time spent waiting…and waiting…and waiting.  It was not pleasant; with about a week left to enjoy my vacation, it felt like the clock was ticking.

We did get to our studio appointment.  These photography studios really have their gimmicks down.  Yeah, there’s a studio fee…more charges for more people…pay for each printed picture…pay for the CDs (priced per 25 images) you can get an hour later…except of course the pictures have their watermark and they are only good for wallet-sized prints.  Well, I don’t need big prints.  I’ll just copy the contents of the CDs and print my own wallet-sized pics.  Sure, those pics are not yet edited but I think I am qualified enough to play with them myself.

We went around buying what we wanted to eat for Christmas Eve dinner.  No blueberry cheesecake…poor me.  At one store they said they were phasing it out.  WHAT?!?

Well, we finally made it home around 8pm, it felt like.  We did not get our pictures taken till around 1pm, although our appointment was for 9-10am, when the mall opened.  Like I said, there was a lot of waiting.

I’m tired.  DH is delivering papers in a car other than his own…not good…will talk to him when he gets home.

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December 21, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

If I don’t make sense at all, blame the white wine.

December 18, Friday, Manila time…
     First of all, I think I should say I am too lazy to read my previous post so if I am repeating myself, oh well.  I finally found a store that sold Wahl’s trimmers, and yeah, I think I mentioned that.  I don’t think I mentioned that I cut my own hair (my mom thought it was too short), my brother’s hair and one of my sisters’.  I’m going to leave the set here, and I hope someone learns to use it, so they can make the most out of the high cost of it.

This day was a bit disappointing.  I was hoping we’d leave early but the workers were here so that was not happening.  We just all went together, and we didn’t leave till after 3am of Saturday.  This day we did some grocery shopping, and I bought 3 liters of milk.  I finished a liter that night, and it made me fart a lot.  I was napping and I apologized for the first two, but figured that after those first ones I did not have to apologize for the rest.  It was sleep, fart, wake up…and repeat…about a dozen times at least.  I got the booze I am bringing home, so I got presents for 2 people right there.  Nothing much happened that day.

December 19, Saturday, Manila time…
     We got to Baguio and the house we were going to live in, sometime around 8 or 9, I don’t remember.  I know we rested a little, then we went to the Mansion and Mines View Park.  My best friend was right when he said I was going to be disappointed.  The place was too crowded, warm, and smoggy.  It used to be quite peaceful, cool, and clean…no more…too bad.  I think we ate all our meals at the house of the owners of the boarding house we were staying at.  I think we had all our meals at their house, actually.  We had a late start so we did not really cover a lot of ground.  I did remember that I couldn’t go to the main part of Mines View Park because of my fear of heights and uneven stairs with no handrails.

December 20, Sunday, Manila time…
     As much as we would have liked to do it, we did not have an early start on this day either.  We went to the Philippine Military Academy.  I was there 20 years ago so I don’t remember anything about how it was then.  I had to go buy batteries for my camera too.  I knew that earlier but that’s where my camera died.  Then we went to the Grotto…actually I think we went to the Grotto first…we did skip the first flight of stairs, but it was still very tiring.  I can’t remember.  I’m sure if I look at my pictures I’ll know, but I’m too lazy to do that right now. We also found a flea market full of (mostly) export-quality surplus stuff.  I got myself a couple of winter gloves for around $1 each.  I should have gotten more but I did not want to buy so much when I haven’t seen all the stores yet.  Then by the time I was done, I was tired, so I did not go back for more.  Also I was watching what I was spending.

We had lunch at the Forest House, and boy, was that yummy.  My favorites were the crab and mango salad with strawberry dressing, and the blueberry cheesecake.  But then again I am biased, I LOOOOOOOVE cheesecakes.

We rested a little bit, then we went to the market so my mom and my sisters can buy veggies and coffee.  I did not buy anything from the market because I did not want to spend any more money and I was tired.  We went back to the house, had dinner, and I went straight to sleep.

I did not meet up with my best friend, because I did not really want to take up any of his weekend, and I felt like we did not have much time to spare either.  I’ll just call him up later.  I think we left just before midnight, had a short trip and got here shortly after 4am Monday.

December 21, Monday, Manila time…
     I kind of knew that my mom would not be available to drive me around so I recruited my brother to go with me to the mall.  I did not like riding the jeepneys because of the pollution, but it was either that or staying home.  I got more clothes, some more suitable for the next trip out of town.  Of course I fed him for his efforts.  I’d already warned him that I was going to need him tomorrow too, so he shouldn’t plan anything.  He agreed.

I should really take a video of my youngest sis and bro jamming.  I heard them upstairs and they seem to play together well.  Well, the white wine is really doing a number on my eyelids, and I need to email DH.  So this is it for now.

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December 17, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

December 16, Wednesday, Manila time…
     Well, I woke up pretty early again, called Scott again, told him I will call him in 2 days, and then waited to go somewhere.  My dad had a luncheon he didn’t seem sure he wanted to attend; it was for December birthday celebrants, hosted by his old officemates at noon at their office.  Half an hour before it was supposed to start, he tells us he is going.  I have no idea what time he got there.  Anyway, my mom and I had to wait for someone to get home or be close to getting home before we could go.  So we did not go anywhere till the afternoon.  We drove around Marikina and in our old subdivision.  I saw the mom of one of my old classmates, and I wondered if she saw or even recognized me.  Then her husband sent my mom a text message.  It turned out that one of the other dads is visiting from CA, and his older daughter was with him; they used to live next door to us.  They were going to have a small gathering.

We came home, my dad came home, other siblings came home too but they had to be elsewhere in a little bit.  So we drove them where they needed to be, then we went to the mall again because I needed pants.  It’s nice shopping with my mom, she can smell a good sale.  I got really cheap pants.  My brother sent a text message that said he was going to join us later on, so we had a light meal, figuring that when he arrived he would want to eat.  One of my other sisters went to the mall too.  We were waiting for my brother, and then he sent a text message saying he wasn’t coming after all, and asking to be picked up.  So we went, thinking that after we picked him up, we’ll go somewhere to eat…BUT FIRST we had to go pick him up. 

Oh…and he said he can’t come with us to Baguio because he has a class on Saturday.  What a downer!

So anyway, so we go to where we dropped him off, tried to call him to tell him to come out…and it turned out he was already home.  So we had a light meal and skipped going where I wanted to go because he said he was joining us.  We did not go and eat somewhere after the mall closed because we had to pick him up.  And then he was already home.  Wonderful.  I was not too happy with him, and I was determined that at some point he was going to hear about all the disappointments I had that day.  He was already asleep when we got home so I couldn’t let him have it then.

December 17, Thursday, Manila time…
     We knew we had that gathering to go to, so we left a bit earlier to go to the flea markets we saw the previous day in that area.  The first one did not have anything interesting.  The taste of the people who shop there is very different from mine.  Then on the way to the next one, we finally found a place that has an electric razor with attachments.  However, it is about 3 times as expensive as it is in the US.  I understand though why that is.  Non-professionals do not buy that kind of items here.  Probably 99% of people buying that Wahls set are barbers or have salons.  I just needed it to cut my own hair.  It is actually very expensive but I really do not want to have someone else cut my hair.  I wouldn’t be able to deal with the disappointment if the haircut doesn’t turn out the way I want it to.  So there’s that.

Then we ate at Red Ribbon, finally.  I had my favorite dish.  Then we went and hit the other flea market.  That was a different story from the first one.  The first stall we went to had tops at a very reasonable price, and they were pretty.  I got 4 tops.  And then we went back to the cake shop to get a cake for the gathering.  Of course it was one of 2 favorite flavors, so I checked that off my list.  Oh, and to backtrack a little bit, I had longganisa Lucban for breakfast too, so it was nice to cross off 2 items in one day.

So we went to the gathering, it was pretty nice to meet up and catch up.  My dad followed.  All the dads on that street were there, and I got a picture of them watching something on TV.  We did not really stay long but my old playmate and I agreed we should meet up with our other old playmates sometime while we are still both here.

Then we came home, and we waited a little bit for a fourth sibling to show up, then we went out to dinner, and I had kesong puti so that got another item on my list checked off.  Three in one day, that’s pretty good.

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December 15, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

Well, it’s my 4th day back home.  I thought I better write things down before I forget.

December 10, Thursday, MN time…
     There was a snow storm the day before so I asked Scott to drive me to work.  I did not want to get into an accident the day before I had to go.  I had my one last day with my favorite baby/toddler, and I had to leave him crying in the gym with the toddlers.  Poor thing, when I come back, he’s going to be in the next room.  I’m going to miss him…I probably should say “poor me” instead.

December 11, Friday, MN time…
     I woke up 20 minutes before 6am, we were on the road by 6:15, and Scott just dropped me off.  I guess I expected him to hang around a bit.  I went to the Continental Airlines counter, tried to check in to get my boarding pass, asked for help, forgot to grab the boarding pass out of the printer, went to the checkpoint, was asked to go back and get a boarding pass…printed a second one out, found the first one too, went back, X-ray person called out “bag check”.  I guess seeing 3 dark cylindrical items on X-ray is something.  So some guy unpacked my duffel bag.  It was the 3 magnet cartridges for the Xyron Creative Station.  And then of course I had problems packing my bag as neatly as I did the first time.

I will have to say that not having check-in luggage made things go so much faster.  So…waited to board the plane…flight delayed because of strong winds in NJ…small jet + strong winds = no good.  I napped a little on the plane.  I guess I don’t like big airports, and I don’t like having to get out of the building and get on the bus to get to the other terminal.  And of course people are different in other places.  The restroom nearest to my gate was being cleaned, and I asked the cleaning lady where the next nearest one is.  She just pointed in the general direction, no talking, no smiling, no nothing.  It was fine; I did find it, but it was just different.

The flight from NJ to Hong Kong was VERRRRRRRRY long.  I guess I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I were sitting next to a different person.  First off, I will say that I did like it that each seat had a screen in front of it.  I do feel that airplanes are getting really cramped (this coming from a small person…not good).  Anyway, I had a slight problem with the guy next to me.  No offense to Chinese people (and I would like to say that my best friend in college with whom I am still in touch is Chinese), but this particular Chinese guy was disgusting.  He got on the plane with a bottle of Snapple.  By the second half of the flight, that empty bottle was on my side of the floor.  He had trash and put it in the pocket in front of him…when the flight attendant came around collecting trash, he did not give her his trash.  And yes, he understands and speaks English.  When he napped, he left his table down with his laptop on it.  I did not have to go to the bathroom, but if I did I would not have wanted to bother him, what with all the things he has to do before I can go by him.  Now the worst part was that he LOVED picking his nose.  He must have spent an hour (a few minutes here and there) of that flight picking his nose with at least 4 different fingers.  And then he was asleep when hot towels were being given before our last meal.  So he ate our last meal, without any grace at all and with disgusting hands.  I was just hoping I wasn’t touching a lot of the same surfaces he was touching.

There was one flight attendant that got me a little bit irritated.  We must have been flying above China by then.  I lifted my shade a bit to see what is below.  Granted, there wasn’t much to see, but it was nice to have some sunlight after hours and hours in the dark.  I was starting to get claustrophobic and bored.  When she walked by, she told me ( not asked me nicely) to put my shade down.  Back in the dark I went.  The whole point of sitting by the window is so I can use the window.  No passenger was complaining about my shade being open, it wasn’t open that much, and it was not that bright out.  It was at least for that flight, MY window.

So, anyway…we landed in Hong Kong…the girl on the other side of the disgusting guy forgot that I am not Chinese (how she could even think I could be Chinese is beyond me) and started talking to me in Chinese, so I went, “I’m sorry, what?”  Then she said it again in English.  She wanted me to move up to where she was standing so she can go back and make sure that she didn’t leave anything behind.

After getting in the airport, there were people waiting and asking where we were headed to make sure we got to our gates in time, because time was pretty tight, what with getting the boarding pass, getting in line for the checkpoint, actually getting through the checkpoint, walking to where the train is, riding the train, going to the gate, getting in line to board, and boarding.  Whew!  I am Filipino, and I don’t mean any disrespect for other Fils, but I have never seen any other group of people clap when the plane lands.  I don’t really get why they do it…to each his own.

December 13, Sunday, Manila time…
     Getting through immigration was a breeze, no check-in luggage meant no waiting, I was out of the plane and out of the building in 15 or 20 minutes.  I waited about 10 minutes outside for my parents to pick me up.  I was pretty easy to spot…the only one waiting without a cart full of luggage.  I am almost sorry that I can’t go back without check-in luggage.  It was so nice not to have so much.

So they picked me up, and I started remember how tightly packed with cars the streets are…and how people drove.  Every day, I feel like I might have a heart attack riding in the car going somewhere.  So…mama…daddy…2 sisters…1 sister elsewhere, brother asleep at home.  We did pick up that one sister (and her BF)…dropped the BF off, went by the condo, had coffee, went home.  And then I couldn’t sleep.  I tried though…but some dog somewhere was barking…some rooster was crowing…and public transport went by every now and then.  So I did not sleep the first night (or very early morning).

When my brother got up, he was talking about how they’re going to do interpretive dance at school.  And then we got some funny dance moves from him in the kitchen.  It was so hilarious.  I wish I’d taken a video of it.

We went to the mall so I can buy clothes (and to keep my dad occupied).  I fed my brother lunch…and discovered how much he could eat and how fast.  I asked him if he remembered about my dad’s surprise birthday party later on, and he assured me he’d have enough space for all the food.  He was not lying.  When we met up with my dad and one of my sisters later on, they were hungry and we sat with them while they ate…my brother ate some of my dad’s food too.  We got to the sky lounge one floor above the condo for the party, and he ate like he did not just eat at the mall.  The kid is a bottomless pit.

It was a nice party, the view was pretty, the food was yummy.  I was tired but still not sleepy, so I thought I might not be able to sleep when we got home.  I did sleep for about 5 hours, until the birds started singing.

Oh, and I got phone cards so I can call DH and the folks to let them know I got here just fine.  I called DH when I got home, then I called the folks’ house, but Mom was not there.

December 14, Monday, Manila time…
     I called Mom first thing in the morning, and we chatted for half an hour.  Normally I would be at their house just hanging out with her.

I greeted my dad happy birthday and said that at last I got the time zone right (well, duh).  I wanted to go shopping for clothes, and I did, but I did not really find much that I liked.  Then I had dinner with my college best buddy, his wife and his daughter.  That was a lot of fun.  For starters, it had been 7 years since I last saw him.  That was the first time I met his wife and child.  So half the dinner conversation was about college classmates.  The other half was about toddlers and what is considered normal for them.  It was fun, and I did like being thought of as the expert on child development (which I kind of am).  I did, however, forget to take pictures.  GRRRR, I hope we have time to meet up in Baguio this weekend to get some pics taken.

December 15, Tuesday, Manila time…
   Well, I was up before 9am, hoping we would get an early start on the day.  I was hoping to find an electric razor with attachments so I can trim my hair and also my brother’s before we go to the studio to have our family picture taken.  We ended up leaving the house after 6pm.  We did not have much done but I did get my brother a new case and a nicer strap for his guitar.  We ate at Shakey’s…one more thing crossed off the list, after taho either Sunday or Monday morning. 

 December 16, Wednesday, Manila time…
     We’re hoping to get more done the next day…that’s today.  We’ll have to wait and see.

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September 24, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

Mama’s birthday, obviously.

I am not a lazy blogger, I just did not really have the time to blog.  Now I am done with school.  I am still working at the same two places I was at when I wrote last, although the “expanding my role” thing did not shake out.  I’m just as glad.  I did work my way up to assistant teacher at the other place.

The year is close to ending and I am so verrrrrrrrrry tired.  I finished a year of school, hopefully with a 4.0 GPA…or something close to it.  I am waiting for my diploma and transcript.  It was pretty hectic and right now I just want to relax so I asked for fewer hours at least for October at the Y.  I am now officially a US citizen with a certificate and a passport to show for it…and a short video of parts of the oath-taking ceremony I had my husband record for me.  I have just started working out somewhat regularly after work.  I am going back to the Philippines for 3 weeks in December, so I figured I should at least lose a couple of pounds before I gain 20.

I have 2 external hard drives that crashed.  I know I had a bunch of things on those drives that I don’t have backed up somewhere else but my pictures are all safe.  Whatever I lost, I lost; that’s just the way it is.  I am waiting for SDHC card prices to go down a bit more.  I think that solid-state drives are a lot more dependable.  I actually backed up my photos online before the drive crashed, and now I’m downloading them back onto my hard drive.  I am sure I have most of them on CDs or DVDs somewhere in this jungle of a room.

I am still undecided on how long a break I will be taking–one or two quarters.  I am thinking one quarter should be enough, but with how fast time seems to fly, I am worried that when I get to the end of that break (a few days after I get back from my trip) it would feel like I did not get much rest.  So I’m thinking I’ll take 2 quarters off.  Either way, I’m taking a break.  Me being me, I was getting pretty tired of school by the end of it.  It did not help that I had to go up to campus for one of them once a week, at night…and then had to work early the next morning.  I was not happy with that but I just kept telling myself it was a temporary situation…and now it’s over.

So…I have student loans…and more to come.  I thought I owed Dad money for car repairs but he said I don’t owe him anything…which meant I had more cash stashed for pocket money for the trip (YAY!).

I am sooooooo looking forward to eating a lot when I get back there.  Let’s see…mangoes (green and ripe), pork BBQ (not quite the same, even at the Asian stores), Cabalen, Red Ribbon, queso-flavored ice cream, mango nectar, fresh fish and seafood (cheap too), Shakey’s, some restaurant that serves snake…and whatever is there at the places I hope to visit.  I am sure there are a lot more that I can’t think of just now.

I am just so tired.  So I think I’ll rest some more now.  I don’t feel like writing much; I just realized that I hadn’t written since the start of the year.

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January 4, 2009 by annadulcekelly.

Well, the new year has started.  And if last year is any indication of how soon it’ll be over, I’ll still be getting over January by the time December is about to end.  I guess I ended my year on a good note…considering.  I quit working at Target to start working at YMCA Childwatch.  It’s basically the fun part of my other job.  No diapers, no feeding, all ages mixed together and we can do whatever crafts we want.  Not to belittle the teachers at my other workplace but I should be in charge of crafts, LOL.  When the year ended I’d been working at YMCA for 3 weeks.  This month I am going to try taking over some of my boss’ tasks and she’s going to walk me through staff scheduling.  The idea is, if by the end of this month I’m still having fun even after taking over the more mundane tasks, in February I will take over her job but she’ll still be around for special classes.

Did you know that I’m starting school again on Monday?  And of course my other job resumes on Monday too.  And I ended up not taking the driving test last month because the weather was crappy on the day I had it scheduled.  And I still have the citizenship to work on too.  Is it any wonder that my head is spinning?

I started out really well at YMCA.  On my first day after orientation, I had 2 boys settled down…just “painting”.  Then we had a Christmas tree that we were supposed to decorate (we meaning the kids for the most part).  Most of the ornaments on the tree were my ideas and I did provide the topper.  Click on the thumbnails to see the stuff.  These are mine.  Some of them I didn’t have the kids do because…they’re kids and I don’t have the patience to teach them the more complicated stuff.

So anyway…the boss was impressed.  She thanked me profusely and said I could do her job.  I said (and this was probably not the right thing to say) I didn’t know what all were included in “her job”.  So a few days later she tells me she wants to talk to me before my shift.  And that’s when she talked about “expanding my role”.  I’m still giddy.  I think the part that I’m giddy about is, I get to decide what crafts we’ll have.  I’m thinking a weekly theme should do.  I already have ideas for this coming week.  My last project, New Year hats, didn’t really do well.  There’s a general lack of interest and the kids I was counting on to show up before New Year’s Day to do them didn’t show.  But it’s okay, most of the stuff we can use again come 4th of July.  This is so much better than being told to do the stuff that other people don’t really want to do…or strictly being an assistant.  Getting a degree will help with me getting to call some shots but I think if I’m still going to be working with the same people in my older job, seniority will still rule.  At least I have the YMCA where I have a lot more freedom.

I am so tempted to give up my other job…but I won’t for 2 reasons.  Firstly, it pays more.  Secondly, for school I think it would be an advantage to have these 2 jobs to compare and discuss in class.  The differences are numerous, it has to come in handy at some point.

Christmas…I’m not a Christmas person…sure, I decorated a tree and had kids do the same but…that was mainly for them.  Why ruin Christmas for kids…they’ll get to that point on their own anyway, like I did.  So Christmas was not bad at all.  Mom asked what I wanted for Christmas and I said some money for paying off my student loans.  But then we went shopping and I had her get me a couple of workout pants instead.  So Christmas came, and I was in for a surprise.  Brad gave me $100 and my jaw dropped.  I asked him if he was serious, and he said it was for school.  I almost cried.  I did give him a hug; it was the least I can do.  Scott had given me my present early…new tires for my car…after doing a 180° twice in one day, same corner, same direction.  Man, do I hate driving in winter.

So…Christmas was good, New Year’s Day was lazy…I spent most of the day in bed watching TV.

I’m fusing more glass in the microwave.  And this kiln is getting so beat up.  And…there’s nothing like a real kiln.  The microwave kiln is so unpredictable it’s not funny.  And dichroic glass is so hard to photograph.

I can’t sleep, that’s why I’m writing.  There’s a lot of things on my mind…a whole lot of excitement and dread and worry.  Just too much to let me sleep.  And I thought I was going to sleep well tonight because I worked out a little bit after my shift.  Last Monday was the first time I ever got on a treadmill.  I was on it for about 30 minutes.  I slept like a baby.  Today I tried one of the ellipticals.  I found out I better warm up on the treadmill first before using the elliptical.  Then I got on the treadmill to warm down anyway.  I thought I was going to sleep like a baby…colicky baby is more like it.

I’m thinking, if I can manage to wake up earlier, I can work out in the morning before my shift…then go back in the evening after the other job.  I know it’s a lot of working out but I’m 35…I need to think about exercising…never was a big fan but I’m thinking it might be sort of a necessity at this point.

I wonder if people would buy irregularly shaped fused glass pendants.  Maybe someone with eclectic taste would.  So sad…2 art guilds in town and I’m not a member in either one.

Oh, forgive the scatter-brained manner of writing…working at the Y is good for school…if I bring in my first 2 pay stubs, I’ll get 10% off my tuition.  Cool!  A bit less to pay back.  That’s always a good thing.  And I could sell my textbooks back too after I’m done but I’m thinking I might want to keep them for reference on the job.

I need to get rid of one digicam…went back to the simpler point-and-shoot…and went back to Pentax.  No one does great macro and supermacro shots like Pentax.

Well, I’ll find something to help my mind settle down.  Maybe some eggnog will help, LOL.  At least for an hour, then I’ll be wide awake again after that.  There is no sleep pattern on weekends.  That’s going to change, I hope.  I work some Saturdays and all Sundays this month…all weekdays too except Tuesday.  Yeah, I think after my 3 quarters are finished, I’ll just work at the Y and dump the other place.  It’s just more fun…and I’m going to be the boss.

Life is still somewhat good.

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November 29, 2008 by annadulcekelly.

Well, here I am, 35 years old and as confused as ever.  I’m busier than I want to be, with not much money to show for it.  I have a lot of plans for the future that require money that I don’t have…yet.  It just feels like there’s so much on my plate right now.

I greeted my birthday with big ugly bruises on my knees.  If you know me then you know that we don’t have the newspaper business anymore and that it went quickly down the drain after we left.  DH was still delivering weekend papers till this morning…I don’t know if we can say he quit or he got fired.  I’m just surprised that he lasted that long considering how lousy his relationship is with the one who took over.  I was hoping he’d do like I did.  I found myself 2 jobs before we gave up the depot.  I just didn’t want to NOT have money coming in to at least pay my own bills.  I’m not getting much but I’m pretty much all caught up and able to put a little bit aside now and then.  And I am going to need that money for sure in the coming year.

Anyway, back to my bruises…funny story.  About 3 weeks ago I dreamt that I was in the electronics stockroom at Target (one of the places I am working at), on a ladder, bringing down a box of something.  Then I missed the last step, landed hard on my knees, said “whoops”…someone in another aisle asked if I was okay and I said yes, I just dropped a box.  I woke up wondering what I would be doing on a ladder in the electronics stockroom.  The answer came last Monday, when I was setting up a couple of endcaps in preparation for the after-Thanksgiving sale.  I was pulling stock, 7″ portable DVD players to be precise, 4 to a box.  That’s what was on the higher shelves, boxes and boxes of those DVD players.  Right after it happened, right after I lied about just dropping a box, then it came to me…that I’d seen this scene play before.  It’s funny that the dreams I don’t pay attention to are the ones that happen.

So anyway, Target…not much money per hour, but if you work enough hours you might fool yourself into thinking it’s worth it.  That is, at least until they don’t give you as many hours a week as you want (temporarily apparently).  Right now it doesn’t matter much to me.  I am thinking at some point in the next month I will either give Target up altogether or work fewer hours on a permanent basis.  In January I will be going back to school (online) to get a certificate as a child care specialist.  This is a 3-quarter, 9-month course which will bring me halfway to my original goal of getting an associate’s degree in early childhood development.  So after the grants and scholarships, I still am responsible for paying $5000+ of my tuition.  On the brighter side, it originally was $12000.  I don’t have to pay any of that right now because of subsidized and unsubsidized student loans.  Some of my classes require “externship” in daycare centers.  I already work in one but only for around 14 hours a week.  One of my classes in the first quarter requires at least 21 hours a week, and classes in the next 2 quarters will require around 30.  So I’ve emailed the instructor who deals with externships asking if she could find me something nearby…and I’m willing to give up Target for it.  I did say I’d rather try to keep my current daycare job, though.

So there’s $5000+ in loans…and I just plunked down close to $700 to apply for citizenship.  This country better be headed towards better times.  I expect to get a schedule for the test sometime April or May…which should give me enough time to get a passport and book my flight early for the holidays next year.  And since I will be travelling with a US passport, I can’t stay longer than 3 weeks back home.  Counting a few days before for preparation and a few days after to get rid of jet lag (not that I ever really had it), I’m guessing that’s a month without any income.  And then there’s the plane fare and whatever pocket money I think I might need.  If anyone’s reading this, you might actually start feeling the weight of my worries.  Sure, I can push the travel plans back some more…but I don’t want to.  I could have waited to go to school till 2010 but I want to get better hours or a better job in child care sometime soon.  I am the least experienced one where I work…and possibly the only one without any educational background to warrant my presence…and therefore the most likely to be booted if money is really tight.

What a time to start having student loans and going back to school and start having multiple jobs.  I sure feel old.  Of course a lot of people around me say I’m just a kid…I sure don’t feel that way.  I am so unbelievably tired and yet I can’t rest.  I haven’t gotten much sleep this past few days because I worry too much.  DH not having a job at present doesn’t help a bit.  He said, well, now if we want to go somewhere for the weekend we can…and I said, yeah, except there’s no money for that.  If he’d just get a normal job, and not work weekends, then maybe we can think about taking off on the weekends.

I do have some good news.  The relationship with the middle stepkid previously labeled as the princess has vastly improved.  There is the realization on her part that I’m not that bad, really.  And well, she has changed a bit.  I guess moving out does that…still waiting for that to happen with one more although things were never so bad with him.  It’s nice…I’m open to closing the gap for as long as she keeps on growing up.

I still don’t have my driver’s license.  I’m thinking I’ll fail the parallel parking test.  I probably will do better now that I have small convex mirrors on my side mirrors and they’re aimed towards the ground so I know how far I am from the curb.  I’ll take the test soon, I promise.  Everything else should go smoothly.  I do hate frosty mornings and driving after it has snowed.  We haven’t really seen much snow though, so I guess I should be thankful.

I am looking forward to working fewer hours at Target or quitting altogether.  It’s hard work for so little money.  I don’t mind the work itself, I do have a bit of an objection to how little it pays.  But that’s how it is.  There is a temp job opening at one of the colleges but before I even consider that, I should wait to hear from my instructor first.  More hours in a daycare setting is the priority.  Hopefully it will pay as well as my current daycare job.  If not…well, it most probably will still be better than what I’m getting at Target.

The plan is, go to school for 3 quarters, go home…that’s next year.  After the student loans are all paid off, go back to school for the CDA and pay off the student loans from that…that’s 2010.  Hopefully by 2011 or 2012 I will have enough money to pay for a new car in cash and still have some left over.  And if I feel like it, I can get an associate’s degree in business management specializing in child care administration, since I already would have the child care classes done and would only need 2 or 3 more quarters to take the business classes.  And if I still feel like it, after that, I can actually get a BS in Business Management.  But…with my attention span, I’m just doing baby steps…no specific plans, just get through the 3 quarters next year…that’s the focus.

Mom actually asked me if I was planning on having a daycare center set up at home at some point.  I said the house is not child-safe and there are pets.  The dog I’m not worried about but the cat is another story.  But sure, why not, maybe I can aim to get a license too while I’m at it.  She was actually volunteering to clean the house for me if I do that.  And I was just thinking…she doesn’t know how old she’d be by then, if it actually happens…I’m not sure she should still be cleaning then.

I figure…if I’m not having any children of my own (which is what it looks like at the moment) I might as well surround myself at least part of the time with other people’s children.  At the end of the day, I would have taken care of kids and still have a nice quiet evening…not to mention I’d have a little bit more money and I don’t have to watch them grow up and become headaches.  Even DH told me that he was glad I was working at the daycare…I’m not as crabby and depressed about my biological clock ticking away as I was before.  It’s still on my mind though.  I still want to try and give birth to a brain that just happens to be attached to a human baby…not a human baby with a brain.

I told him before I’m not taking care of another dog after Rosie.  I don’t think we’ll ever find a dog as sweet as her.  But after some thought, I realized it would feel a bit empty…so I said, I would be open to the idea of more dogs after Rosie goes…but only old dogs from shelters.  I want those dogs that few people want to adopt because they don’t have many years left in them…or because the family wants a puppy that will grow at the same time as their kids.  My thing is, older dogs are less frisky and more likely to be toilet-trained.

Working in retail the day after Thanksgiving…when the first customers came into the store and started running down the aisles, I felt a bit panicky.  It was a funny feeling…I didn’t know whether to be alarmed or amused.  I didn’t really understand why I should be alarmed, but it amused me that people were actually running in the aisles…I guess I could understand that, after we ran out of various items…but still…it was a bit scary.  I’m just glad I wasn’t the one who opened the doors.

Well, maybe finally I will be able to sleep.  I tried to bore myself to sleep but it didn’t work.  I cleaned up a bit and that didn’t get me tired enough to sleep either.  I folded up my sewing table and put away my sewing machine for now.  I just bought myself a kiln I can put in the microwave to fuse glass to make pendants and what not…and some glass items to use in the kiln.  I need to find out if the interior of our microwave oven is aluminum or plastic, because the kiln can’t be used with microwaves with plastic interiors.  And if we have aluminum interiors, then I’ll have to clean it before and after I fire my glass pieces, just so I’m sure I’m not contaminating whatever food goes in there.  I still hope to make my own clothes but I pretty much have given up on some patterns.  I should have done some research…then I would have found out that with some of the older patterns, the clothes come out bigger than then should be according to the sizes stated.  I am about tempted to wing it…or bring my fabrics to the seamstress with instructions on what I want done with them.  So many hobbies, so little time.

I would like to promise I’ll write more often…but I probably won’t.  For starters, I was thinking I’ll try to write daily starting on my birthday.  It didn’t happen, did it?  I knew it.  Oh, well.

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August 8, 2008 by annadulcekelly.

I will apologize in the manner that is most commonly used in this house, mostly by you.

I AM SORRY…

– that your dad spoiled you so much you don’t know the definition of gratitude
– that you’ll never be happy no matter how much stuff you buy for yourself
– that Paul will definitely have to be a doctor and bust his ass to support your extravagant habits
– that for some reason you think you don’t need anything from your dad and he doesn’t buy anything for you, and yet you have no problem wasting things he bought for everyone’s use
– that you keep saying things that you can’t really stick to…like saying your dad will never have to pay for anything for you anymore…yeah, well, who are you going to turn to when it’s time for that big lavish wedding you imagined for yourself?
– that your credit rating will probably be much worse than your dad’s…which is worse than mine
– that you think life in this house is chaotic…although I’m positive the chaos will pretty much go away when you go off to college
– that you see it fit to criticize your dad for his drinking…not even stopping to wonder if maybe he’s drinking more because of you
– that your roommates will probably grow to hate you for being such a disgusting slob of a female
– that your younger brother will probably grow up way before you ever do, if you actually ever do
– that you think I’d be so petty and stupid as to scratch your car, right when I’m taking the dog out…yes, I’d like all suspicion to fall on me, please
– that you can’t take care of yourself enough not to be injured or sick enough to cost so much money to heal, and that you and your mom agreed to pay a third of your medical bills
– that you’re busting your ass to earn money when you probably could have gotten a cushy office job somewhere if you just put more effort into looking for a good job, oh great honor student and star athlete
– that you now claim you’ve been forced to work since you were 11, never mind the fact that you resented that I took over some of the jobs you wanted for yourself
– that you now claim you were forced to play sports so you can get a sports scholarship in college, never mind that it was always your idea to go to all those costly summer basketball camps
– that you had no choice but to play basketball in your senior year because they made you captain, never mind that all human beings were given free will and can choose to do what they want to do
– that your dad wasted money on your trips to London, Paris and Costa Rica when the money could have been used for house repairs or something else that would have benefited more people…more grateful people
– that you think the term “mail-order bride” automatically has a negative connotation, and that you don’t really know the meaning of the term (and consequently don’t know that I am not a mail-order bride)
– that you haven’t realized yet that I am a far better wife than your mother ever was and this marriage will last longer than any your mother ever had or will have
– that you just can’t bear it that I do make your dad happy and he turns to me when you’re being bitchy
– that even your grandparents are disgusted with the way you are acting right now
– that you have your own version of reality and it doesn’t really match up with what’s happening around you
– that you made your mother the most perfect center of your universe and now your world is imploding
– that it turns out your mother doesn’t love you as much as you thought she did, and that she’s leaving you behind YET AGAIN
– that you’re so deeply in denial you can’t bring yourself to get mad at your mother and keep lashing out at your dad for pointing out all your mother’s flaws
– that for as much as you hate your dad and me, you can’t bring yourself to move out and live with your perfect mother, at least for the few months left before she abandons you again
– that you will keep expecting your mother to keep her word…and keep getting disappointed…pretty much like her and her mother
– that you are turning out to be as wonderful as your mother…who is turning out to be as wonderful as her mother…I know how much you idolize your maternal grandmother
– that your mother will most probably not pay much attention to you after she has another baby and another chance to have a child she can turn into a star and live off of
– that with all your accomplishments you are one INSECURE person and will always be, because you have always believed your mom when she said image was everything…deep inside you know you need more to back that image up
– that you’ll never have your own mind, that you’re easily influenced by the people around you, and that you will always be lost because the people around you will keep on changing and you’ll just keep on grasping at straws
– that you are just not worth the time, energy or money spent on you, and I’m glad I didn’t contribute much to that

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June 20, 2008 by annadulcekelly.

1999 Kia Sportage, $2095…driver’s window doesn’t open, back passenger door doesn’t open, small crack in windshield, a few rust spots, rusted spare tire holder thingy that won’t open to let the back door open, and I think the mirror adjustment motor for the right rearview mirror is dead. About $1800 in repairs and replacements…that can wait. Next week I have my test for the instruction permit…yes, the car came before the permit.

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March 21, 2008 by annadulcekelly.

Board needs cleaning…must’ve moved keys around 3 times, thumb tired from twisting them off board…need more keys…colorful paper in background holds ‘codes’ for regular keyboard characters I had to make macros for.  Blank key at bottom is spacebar…except it’s not a bar anymore…wanted 2 shift keys, 2 space keys, a caps lock, all function keys, etc…will wait till they come out with 3rd set of 25 keys…if it happens…

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